I Am Jacks Wasted Life

Top Ten Ways Dennis Kucinich Can Still Be The Next President Of The United States presented by Dennis Kucinich (stolen from David Letterman)

10. “Keep doing what I’m doing — I’m winning, right?”

9. “Constitution is amended stating presidents must be 35 or older, a natural-born citizen and named ‘Dennis’.”

8. “Act like a boob so people will perceive me as more Presidential.”

7. “You want crazy campaign promises? Fine! If I’m elected everybody gets a million bucks.”

6. “Enter and win next ‘American Idol’.”

5. “Announce your running mate will be a plate of fudge — people love fudge.”

4. “Just wait till I unleash my new campaign slogan: ‘Kucizzle in the Hizzle!'”

3. “According to the order of presidential succession, if George W. Bush were to resign today, along with Dick Cheney and about 300 other people, the presidency passes to a congressman from Ohio.”

2. “Get the governors of every state to rig the election.”

1. “I’m praying for a sex scandal.”

(more…)

So, this is what happens in my neighborhood while I’m at work! Ironic too, because I drove by the appartment that this guy lives (well, lived) in and there’s a For Rent sign out front. Guess you can only botch a bank robbery once and then they’re on to you….

There were 2 comic strips that I thought were of note recently. First Get Fuzzy gets the world’s worst pun award, and then PvP accurately captures one of the pitfalls of being involved with someone who share your interests. (The subject of this strip is the reason that even though I have in my posession the DVD of Underworld, I dare not watch it untill
Raven can watch it with me. I already got burned on that once for going to see Reign of Fire when Raven was out of town!

And yes of course the pun was intentional….

I have recently done some traveling, and there is more on the way! Today’s excerpt is regarding my visit to Empire Buffet IV in Michigan. I must say that while the original Empire Buffet was a swashbuckling high-seas adventure, the subsequent sequels had left much to be desired. Empire Buffet IV: Try The Dim Sung, returns the series to its thrilling beginnings and leaves you wanting more! It’s a good thing it’s “All you can eat!”.
The menu there has the best Chinese Zodiac Placemats I have ever seen. The fact that I can garner career advice while shoveling in the Sesame Chicken is really an idea whose time has come. I personally wanna know what I can do to change my career advice to secret agent! (Reminder: I was born in the year of the Dragon.)
Chinese Zodiac
GOAT
1907*1919*1931*1943*1955*1967*1979*1991*2003
Except for the knack of always getting off on the wrong foot with people, the Goat can be charming company. You are elegant and artistic but the first to complain about things. Put aside your pessimism and worry and try to be less dependent on material comforts. You would be best as an actor, gardener, or beachcomber. Some Goats: Michelangelo, Rudolph Valentino, Mark Twain, Orville Wright.
MONKEY
1908*1920*1932*1944*1956*1968*1980*1992*2004
You are very intelligent and a very clever wit. Because of your extraordinary nature and magnetic personality, you are always well-liked. The Monkey must guard against being an opportunist and distrustful of other people. Your sign promises success in any field you try. Some Monkeys: Julius Ceasar, da Vinci, Harry S. Truman, Elizabeth Taylor.
COCK
1909*1921*1933*1945*1957*1969*1981*1993*2005
The Cock is a hard worker, shrewd and definite in decision making, often speaking his mind. Because of this, you tend to seem boastful to others. You are a dreamer, flashy dresser, and extravagant to an extreme. Born under this sign you should be happy as a restaurant owner, publicist, soldier, or world traveler. Some Cocks: Rudyard Kipling, Caruso, Groucho Marx, Peter Ustinov.
DOG
1910*1922*1934*1946*1958*1970*1982*1994*2006
The Dog will never let you down. Born under this sign you are honest, and faithful to those you love. You are plagued by constant worry, a sharp tongue, and a tendency to be a fault finder, however. You would make an excellent businessman, activist, teacher, or secret agent. Some Dogs: Socrates, George Gershwin, Benjamin Franklin, Herbert Hoover, David Niven.
BOAR
1911*1923*1935*1947*1959*1971*1983*1995*2007
You are a splendid companion, an intellectual with a very stron need to set difficult goals and carry them out. You are sincere, tolerant, and honest but by expecting the same from others, you are incredibly naive. Your quest for material goods could be your downfall. The Boar would be best in the arts as an entertainer, or possibly a lawyer. Some Boars: Albert Schweitzer, Ernest Hemingway.
RAT
1912*1924*1936*1948*1960*1972*1987*1996
You are imaginative, charming, and truly generous to the person you love. However, you have a tendency to be quick tempered and overly critical. You are also inclined to be somewhat of an opportunist. Born under this sign, you should be happy in sale or as a writer, critic, or publicist. Some Rats: Shakespeare, Mozart, Churchill, Washington, Truman Copote.
OX
1913*1925*1937*1949*1961*1973*1985*1997
A born leader, you inspire confidence. You are conservative, methodical, and good with your hands. Guard against being chauvinistic and demanding your own way. The Ox would be successful as a skilled surgeon, general, or hair dresser. Some Oxen: Napolean, Van Gogh, Walt Disney, Clark Gable, Richard Nixon.
TIGER
1914*1926*1938*1950*1962*1974*1986*1998
You are sensitive, emotional, and capable of great love. However, you have a tendency to get carried away and be stubborn. Your sign shows you would be excellent as a boss, explorer, race car driver, or matador. Some Tigers: Marco Polo, Mary Queen of Scots, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Marilyn Monroe.
RABBIT
1915*1927*1939*1951*1963*1975*1987*1999
You are the kind of person that people like to be around – affecionate, obliging, always pleasant. Being cautious and conservative, you are succesful in businessbut would also make a good lawyer, diplomat, or actor. Some Rabbits: Rudolph Nureyev, Confucious, Orson Welles, Einstein.
DRAGON
1916*1928*1940*1952*1964*1976*1988*2000
Full of vitality and enthusiasm, the Dragon is a popular indvidual even with the reputation of being foolhardy and a “big mouth” at times. You are intelligent, gifted, and a perfectionist but these qualities make you unduly demanding on others. You would do well as an artist, priest, or politician. Some Dragons: Joan of Arc, Pearl Buck, Freud.
SNAKE
1917*1929*1941*1953*1965*1977*1989*2001
Rich in wisdom and charm, you are romantic and deep thinking and your intuition guides you strongly. Avoid procrastination and your stingy attitude towards money. Keep your sense of humor about life. The Snake would be most content as a teacher, philosopher, writer, psychiatrist, and fortune teller. Some Snakes: Darwin, Edgar Allen Poe, Lincoln.
HORSE
1918*1930*1942*1954*1966*1978*1990*2002
Your capacity for hard work is amazing. You are your own person – very independent. While intelligent and friendly, you have a strong streak of selfishness and sharp cunning and should guard against being egotistical. Your sign suggests success as an adventurer, scientist, poet, or politician. Some Horses: Rembrandt, Chopin, Davy Crockett, Teddy Rosevelt.

It’s Super Tuesday!

Today is the day us Minnesotans get to go and vote for who we want to run against miserable failure©. Raven & I have decided to stay the course, and vote for Dennis Kucinich. He may not win the nomination, but we are going to stick to our conscience and make sure the democratic party and their nominee remember that there are still some of us who want a choice in who represents us, and will not bow to the weight of “inevitability” when deciding who gets our support.

Have you heard about Hawaii? Dennis came in second place there, got 27% of the vote, 8 delegates, and yet it’s hardly even mentioned in the media. Well, we’re going to stay involved. The only way anything ever changes is through continued effort.

Incidentally, be sure and read this amazingly researched & detailed essay: An Interesting Day. It is reason #932,342,767 that W has got to go.

In Non-Politics News:

Drink more water? I think not.

AND

Cats are hilarious.