I Am Jacks Wasted Life

So, I was about 5 blocks away from my house tonight and the power goes out. I don’t know what the heck Xcel is doing but the traffic lights are even totally dead. It’s kinda eerie considering it’s overcast and there’s no moon to speak of this evening. So, I finish going to FedEx to pick up the mystery package. (It turns out to be Alienware swag to give away at the LAN party I didn’t go to last weekend… hmm… I guess they weren’t kidding when they said they needed more notice….)
I ran back to the house because my notebook was on AC and would keep humming along contendedly until the battery died and that’s usually not the best scenario for a PC. SO I return home, find the candles that we used when our power went out about a week ago, (seriously, WTF mate?) and lift the lid on my notebook to discover a BSOD waiting for me.
So I reboot to make sure that if it’s fried at least I know what I’m up against. Fortunately all seems well. Since Raven should be home any minute I thought I’d wait for her and do a candle hand off so as not to require her fumbling about for 5-10 minutes when she gets home.
Seeing as my battery has 71% remaining and I have a little time to kill, I figure I’ll see how City 17 is doing. Alas, Steam seems determined to not let me find out! When I launch Steam it tries to connect, and then tells me it cannot, and asks would I like to Retry connection or Start in Offline mode. Seeing as neither the wireless router nor the cable modem have any power, I dont’ think I’ll be able to connect right now, so i hit Offline mode.

It really should be that simple right?
Well, it ain’t. Then I get this error message.

Now, I’ve worked Tech Support before, so i know the value of a good error message. This don’t cut it.
Directing me to a web site when I most likely have problem connecting to the internet is right on par with asking me if I can email the error message I get when I try to send an email! Oy.
I guess I’ll just have to play Doom3.

Three tomatoes are walking down the street…

Yeah. Well, the picture above is one of Raven & I on Halloween at Market Bar-B-Q in Minneapolis. She was a showgirl. I was some kind of Batman-esque guy in a fetishy getup©. We had a pretty good time hanging out there Oct 31st. Raven even snagged 3rd place in the costume contest!

This photo is from what I’ve dubbed Raven Party ’04. From left to right, that’s me as Silent Bob, Tanja as Catwoman, Jewbakka as the Big Bad Wolf, Lloyd as a Greek God, Raven, & No Name Slob as William "Bill" Blake from Dead Man. NQYTD, who is not in the picture, was a quite convincing Shaun of the Dead.

Speaking of my blogging brethren, (and sistren) the four of us went to see the Blogumentary World Premiere. Raven & I also got to meet Equipose and we all had dinner. The Film was excellent. I’m sure that after I get my DVD copy I can offer up some actual constructive criticism, but after only one viewing I just think it was good. Of course, I also need to find $25 to donate to the relief fund to get that DVD….

Ummm. Oh yeah. The Diabetes Walk was yesterday. Tanja, Raven, Travesty & his S.O. and I got about $1200 in donations altogether. Please feel free to Donate now if you weren’t able to previously. <hint><hint>

Phew! I’m a little worn down. days to go…

I have hardly any memories of my paternal grandfather. He passed away when I was about four and a half years old. All I know about him comes from some photographs and the tales my family told. But I know he loved me.

My Grandmother Brownie has lived in Rochester as long as I can remember. I remember visiting her and her dog, “Mister.” I’ve always been a cat-person, but Mister was a cool dog. Whenever I visited we would spend time outdoors, fishing in the pond, and taking Mister for walks. Grandma Brownie & I also played a lot of cards. She taught me how to play some pretty darn good solitaire games too. I still remember the first time that Bob came to Breezy Point with us for Christmas. I don’t know how much I understood then what Bob meant to Brownie, but I hope he felt welcome.

I can sort of picture their wedding. I remember that I had a suit coat that now only reminds me of Miami Vice. I guess what I remember most is that it was a good day.

Brownie & Bob made Arizona their home in the winter. I remember the Christmas we decided to go down to Arizona. That was wild. T-Shirts in December. We went skiing that year at Snowbowl in Flagstaff. I loved it. One mountain with snow on it in the state so they build a ski resort. Classic.

We stayed in Sedona. Brownie & Bob and the rest of us went hiking and rock climbing. That was a great experience as well. The air seemed ultra-clear somehow.

A few weeks ago Bob had a stroke.

Things had kind of been up and down for the past couple of weeks. It seemed like he was recovering.

Robert J. Oesterlin passed away this past Saturday. I didn’t know him all that well. Time was often too short. The distance was often too great. I know that he liked to fly his remote controlled model planes. I know he enjoyed fishing. I know he almost always had a smile to greet you.

I spoke with Brownie on the phone Sunday evening. She seemed to be in fairly good spirits. She said it wasn’t bad as long as she was busy. It seemed to me that she completely accepted what had happened. She didn’t like it, but she knew this was how it had to be. She was determined to keep greeting each new day. She said she just didn’t like being alone.

I think I realized for the first time where my determination must come from.

I told her I would do whatever I could for her. It’s the kind of thing that I guess everyone says, but I can’t express to you how much I meant it. I couldn’t stop thinking about how sometimes no matter how much effort we put forth, some things can’t be fixed. Some sorrow can never be soothed. She told me to make sure that Amanda knew I loved her, “Cherish every moment.” After we said our goodbyes, I hung up the phone and cried.

I don’t pretend to know exactly what Bob meant to Brownie or what Brownie meant to Bob. I can’t imagine what this is like for her, to lose her husband for the second time.

But I know that he was loved.

And every once in a while, I guess that’s enough.

<sigh>

Whether it is a good idea or not, I am getting more and more involved with politics. I don’t know that you can ever really take the sting out of the kind of results that we saw this last Tuesday, but I think you can gain perspective.

Sometime in the middle of the night this last Tuesday, I started to realize it wasn’t likely going to be the result I was hoping for. I think I started off with the usual disbelief, followed by anger. Once again I wondered about the viability of Canada.

Then something happened that I’m not sure has happened before. I could feel my resolve hardening. This wasn’t anger or despair, but a renewed sense of purpose and importance.

It doesn’t matter what they say. We stood up and fought. This election was not a crushing defeat. It was a near miss! I’m not saying no mistakes were made or that we can’t do better, but I’m already sick to death of these death-knells for the Democratic Party in the mainstream media. Let me fill you in on a little something that I think a helluva lot of people have lost sight of:

Government is all about compromise

Ya know, checks and balances? We’re not voting for Prom King and Queen here. It should be less about how charismatic or attractive they are, less about how closely they line up with you on the “issues”, and more about who has the better vision. You can support a candidate that isn’t “perfect”. NONE OF US ARE.

Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t look for the best we can do, but stop pining for the perfect one. A third party doesn’t solve anything. It only further muddies the waters. Also, I don’t ever want to hear anyone say the Democratic Party doesn’t represent them anymore. Have you ever been to a Precinct Caucus? Do you know how the Democratic Party works? It’s the ultimate in representative politics! If 30 percent of your precinct supports Candidate A and 70 percent supports Candidate B, that’s the ratio that goes up to the next level. There is no winner take all until the National Convention. The same thing is true of the platform. So in a way you’re right. It’s not representing you because you can’t be bothered to show up and be counted. If you don’t like the way this world is why won’t you work for the change you seek?

To be continued…