Dennis’s Top Ten List
March 24, 2004Top Ten Ways Dennis Kucinich Can Still Be The Next President Of The United States presented by Dennis Kucinich (stolen from David Letterman)
10. “Keep doing what I’m doing — I’m winning, right?”
9. “Constitution is amended stating presidents must be 35 or older, a natural-born citizen and named ‘Dennis’.”
8. “Act like a boob so people will perceive me as more Presidential.”
7. “You want crazy campaign promises? Fine! If I’m elected everybody gets a million bucks.”
6. “Enter and win next ‘American Idol’.”
5. “Announce your running mate will be a plate of fudge — people love fudge.”
4. “Just wait till I unleash my new campaign slogan: ‘Kucizzle in the Hizzle!'”
3. “According to the order of presidential succession, if George W. Bush were to resign today, along with Dick Cheney and about 300 other people, the presidency passes to a congressman from Ohio.”
2. “Get the governors of every state to rig the election.”
1. “I’m praying for a sex scandal.”
Deleted Scenes:
Propose that both the red and blue states get makeovers to salmon and periwinkle.
Emphasize that with the help of Frodo and Aragorn, we can defeat the forces of Sauron.
I’m catching a plane tomorrow to go over and capture Osama myself.
I was Mayor of Cleveland. So I can make all of America just like Cleveland.
5 Comments »
RSS feed for comments on this post.
ummm so you like this dude? or you just want to have his children? hard to tell. Besides it is too sunny out today and my life is skewed by all this untolerable light and warmth. Must go find my rock and pretend you and your nut job politics are just voices in my head. Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Comment by LaLa — March 24, 2004 @ 1:59 pm
so check out my friend Annette’s new site:
They have Batman Battleship
http://www.comicsuncovered.com
Comment by LaLa — March 24, 2004 @ 3:01 pm
Nope…I’m the one who wants to have his children. Shhhh…don’t tell G…be vewy, vewy quiet.
i hope Dennis doesn’t make stinky food…because man, that’s all G knows how to make. I’d hate to think I was making a lateral move…
Comment by raven — March 25, 2004 @ 12:28 am
Hey! There is nothing wrong with the aroma of my Taquitos. Just because you have some “allergy” to “beef” doesn’t mean I can’t have it. You and Dennis can run off and have some Vegan/Beef Allergy hybrid children and leave me in peace…
In the meantime, I invite you to Write a letter to Resers and inform them of the stench of their fine product…see how far that gets ya!
Comment by GSeven — March 25, 2004 @ 6:20 am
Hmm…Vegan/beef allergic hybrid children???? I’ll bet that if that were part of his platform, he would definitely get elected…hmmm…must find some way to make this happen….
I don’t care if you eat all the beef in China…your Taquitos still stink!!
Comment by raven — March 25, 2004 @ 5:04 pm