I Am Jacks Wasted Life

Marvel Comics Suck Ass!

OK. There. Now everyone on the Internet hates me.

Let me start by making one thing perfectly clear: Spider-Man 2 is not a bad movie. It’s just so blaringly not a GREAT movie that I have to wonder what I’m missing. On Yahoo Movies I gave it a C+, which is “Flawed, but worthy”. I really hate reviews that give away too much about the film, but I’m gonna mention a couple of minor plot points, so if this offends thee, return soon and I will regale you with my tale of how the Taste of Minnesota continues to let me down. (Nothing but sunshine and light I know…)

My biggest complaint about this movie was the whole “Choice” sub-plot. How is it that by his “heart not being in it” all of his mutant powers just go away? Suddenly he needs glasses again? WTF? Maybe I was asleep that day in Biology but I thought once you mutated you were pretty much stuck with what ya got, it didn’t matter if you had buyer’s remorse.

I was disappointed with Dr. Octopus as well. He was a great character as the scientist, but once the mechanical arms took over he wasn’t even remotely interesting. Incidentally, am I the only one who thinks the “Inhibitor-Chip” is the lamest plot device ever? I mean come on! I even would have bought it if we were arguing that the reaction somehow gave them sentience (i.e. Short Circuit), but I’m just not buying that they were lying in wait the whole time, waiting to take over the world!

Finally, I don’t think the movie was very… even, if you will. There were some parts that were very comic book zany, which I thought kind of worked, and the scene were Doc Oc attacks all the ER staff seemed straight out of one of the Evil Dead films… but it just didn’t quite fit together. It was bunched up in places. The “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head” sequence was way too long… I just don’t know. I wonder if my standards are too high since everyone else in the world is all a twitter.

Doesn’t matter though… because I just noticed there are new photos up for Batman Begins, which will NOT suck ass…or someone’s gonna have a lot of explaining to do…