I Am Jacks Wasted Life

I have recently done some traveling, and there is more on the way! Today’s excerpt is regarding my visit to Empire Buffet IV in Michigan. I must say that while the original Empire Buffet was a swashbuckling high-seas adventure, the subsequent sequels had left much to be desired. Empire Buffet IV: Try The Dim Sung, returns the series to its thrilling beginnings and leaves you wanting more! It’s a good thing it’s “All you can eat!”.
The menu there has the best Chinese Zodiac Placemats I have ever seen. The fact that I can garner career advice while shoveling in the Sesame Chicken is really an idea whose time has come. I personally wanna know what I can do to change my career advice to secret agent! (Reminder: I was born in the year of the Dragon.)
Chinese Zodiac
GOAT
1907*1919*1931*1943*1955*1967*1979*1991*2003
Except for the knack of always getting off on the wrong foot with people, the Goat can be charming company. You are elegant and artistic but the first to complain about things. Put aside your pessimism and worry and try to be less dependent on material comforts. You would be best as an actor, gardener, or beachcomber. Some Goats: Michelangelo, Rudolph Valentino, Mark Twain, Orville Wright.
MONKEY
1908*1920*1932*1944*1956*1968*1980*1992*2004
You are very intelligent and a very clever wit. Because of your extraordinary nature and magnetic personality, you are always well-liked. The Monkey must guard against being an opportunist and distrustful of other people. Your sign promises success in any field you try. Some Monkeys: Julius Ceasar, da Vinci, Harry S. Truman, Elizabeth Taylor.
COCK
1909*1921*1933*1945*1957*1969*1981*1993*2005
The Cock is a hard worker, shrewd and definite in decision making, often speaking his mind. Because of this, you tend to seem boastful to others. You are a dreamer, flashy dresser, and extravagant to an extreme. Born under this sign you should be happy as a restaurant owner, publicist, soldier, or world traveler. Some Cocks: Rudyard Kipling, Caruso, Groucho Marx, Peter Ustinov.
DOG
1910*1922*1934*1946*1958*1970*1982*1994*2006
The Dog will never let you down. Born under this sign you are honest, and faithful to those you love. You are plagued by constant worry, a sharp tongue, and a tendency to be a fault finder, however. You would make an excellent businessman, activist, teacher, or secret agent. Some Dogs: Socrates, George Gershwin, Benjamin Franklin, Herbert Hoover, David Niven.
BOAR
1911*1923*1935*1947*1959*1971*1983*1995*2007
You are a splendid companion, an intellectual with a very stron need to set difficult goals and carry them out. You are sincere, tolerant, and honest but by expecting the same from others, you are incredibly naive. Your quest for material goods could be your downfall. The Boar would be best in the arts as an entertainer, or possibly a lawyer. Some Boars: Albert Schweitzer, Ernest Hemingway.
RAT
1912*1924*1936*1948*1960*1972*1987*1996
You are imaginative, charming, and truly generous to the person you love. However, you have a tendency to be quick tempered and overly critical. You are also inclined to be somewhat of an opportunist. Born under this sign, you should be happy in sale or as a writer, critic, or publicist. Some Rats: Shakespeare, Mozart, Churchill, Washington, Truman Copote.
OX
1913*1925*1937*1949*1961*1973*1985*1997
A born leader, you inspire confidence. You are conservative, methodical, and good with your hands. Guard against being chauvinistic and demanding your own way. The Ox would be successful as a skilled surgeon, general, or hair dresser. Some Oxen: Napolean, Van Gogh, Walt Disney, Clark Gable, Richard Nixon.
TIGER
1914*1926*1938*1950*1962*1974*1986*1998
You are sensitive, emotional, and capable of great love. However, you have a tendency to get carried away and be stubborn. Your sign shows you would be excellent as a boss, explorer, race car driver, or matador. Some Tigers: Marco Polo, Mary Queen of Scots, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Marilyn Monroe.
RABBIT
1915*1927*1939*1951*1963*1975*1987*1999
You are the kind of person that people like to be around – affecionate, obliging, always pleasant. Being cautious and conservative, you are succesful in businessbut would also make a good lawyer, diplomat, or actor. Some Rabbits: Rudolph Nureyev, Confucious, Orson Welles, Einstein.
DRAGON
1916*1928*1940*1952*1964*1976*1988*2000
Full of vitality and enthusiasm, the Dragon is a popular indvidual even with the reputation of being foolhardy and a “big mouth” at times. You are intelligent, gifted, and a perfectionist but these qualities make you unduly demanding on others. You would do well as an artist, priest, or politician. Some Dragons: Joan of Arc, Pearl Buck, Freud.
SNAKE
1917*1929*1941*1953*1965*1977*1989*2001
Rich in wisdom and charm, you are romantic and deep thinking and your intuition guides you strongly. Avoid procrastination and your stingy attitude towards money. Keep your sense of humor about life. The Snake would be most content as a teacher, philosopher, writer, psychiatrist, and fortune teller. Some Snakes: Darwin, Edgar Allen Poe, Lincoln.
HORSE
1918*1930*1942*1954*1966*1978*1990*2002
Your capacity for hard work is amazing. You are your own person – very independent. While intelligent and friendly, you have a strong streak of selfishness and sharp cunning and should guard against being egotistical. Your sign suggests success as an adventurer, scientist, poet, or politician. Some Horses: Rembrandt, Chopin, Davy Crockett, Teddy Rosevelt.